Steak Dinner, As Promised
by unannehmlichkeiten
Summary: Misato promised the three Eva pilots a steak dinner, but they never got it, did they? Well, Misato finally saved up the cash to own up and give it to them. Chaos ensues, make no mistake of that! Suggestive themes galore, maybe OOC later on. Please Review!


The three Children stood in an orderly line, and seemed to stand on thin air far above the Geofront, with a wide-sweeping grid over its various quadrants. They had been here once before, prior to fighting and later defeating Sahaquiel. They waited patiently in the seemingly boundless chamber, and Asuka looked around impatiently.

"We've been here for a half-hour now! Why would they call us here anyway? It's not like there's an Angel attack!"

"Maybe we're going on another preemptive mission," replied Shinji quietly.

"Yeah? Well I'm not going down anymore volcanoes! You can go this time, Shinji."

"I doubt this is a briefing, or a pre-sortie selection. It will be only Major Katsuragi."

Asuka whipped around in surprise at the half-whisper. "What's that? Wonder Girl, you spoke without being spoken to! Congratulations."

After another five minutes of waiting, Misato walked in slowly, dressed in her usual uniform, complete with red coat and cap. She approached the three pilots and stared them down with a dire look. Shinji was afraid that they were in some kind of trouble, and shifted uneasily. Suddenly though, Misato's dire look shifted to a warm smile, and she began cheerily.

"No Shinji, you aren't in trouble. You probably want to know why you're here, though; I promise you'll like it."

"This had better be good, Misato. Do you know how long we've been waiting?"

"Thirty-six minutes and some change, but that was just for suspense. You remember probably, that the last time you were here, you were briefed to fight Sahaquiel."

"Yeah, what about it?" Asuka would not relinquish her defiant air.

"Well, while we were briefing, I made you a promise." Shinji remembered, and spoke up.

"Right… You promised us all a steak dinner!" Asuka shook her head, and retorted:

"But it turned out to be noodles instead! Not exactly what you pledged, Misato."

"I was broke; it couldn't have been helped. However, I'm now prepared to fulfill my promise. We'll be going out tonight for the best dinner you've ever had." Shinji couldn't help himself, and gave the same reaction he had the first time Misato made that promise.

"Wow!"

"That's right; Rei, if you meet us at the apartment tonight at 2000, we'll head out from there. Oh, and there'll be plenty of things besides meat there as well."

"Understood."

The group dismissed, and went their separate ways; Shinji, Asuka, and Misato to the apartment, Rei to her own. Once home, Misato and Shinji promptly laid down (not in the same bed; promise,) for a nap before going out, leaving Asuka to her own devices. She made a beeline for her room, and began digging through boxes of clothes from Germany, looking for exactly the right outfit to wear. She spread out a myriad of different garments, and tried them on one-by-one. A few hours later, Shinji woke up and took a bath, relaxing in the heat for a while. While he laid there, Misato's voice cut through the steamy air, rousing him from his reveries.

"Shinji, let's go! Other people need to use the bathroom too!"

"Huh? Oh, yes ma'am!"

"Oh, and check on Asuka after you get out. She's been in her room the whole afternoon."

"Sure."

Shinji finished, dried himself off, and dressed quickly in his own room. Afterward, he made his way casually over to Asuka's room, from which there came a loud rustling sound, punctuated with the occasional bumping or crashing noise. He knocked lightly, calling out softly.

"Asuka? Misato wanted me to check on you--Oh!" Now, the door pushed open under light pressure, and Shinji poked his head in. He saw what seemed like hundreds of outfits strewn across the floor, with Asuka in the middle, bent over, facing away from him. The 'Oh' slipped unfortunately from Shinji's mouth as he realized that he had (luckily or unluckily, your choice;) caught Asuka between two outfits. She looked down between her unclothed thighs at Shinji's beet-red face, eyes first wide in surprise, then slowly twitching in fury. A low growl emanated from her mouth, which grew louder until it manifested itself as "Shinji you disgusting pervert, get out of my room!"

Shinji saw her rage, and desperately wanted to comply, though everything from his waist down seemed to say _"No way man; stay! This is hot; see how long she'll stay bent over like that! Don't move, ok?"_ Thus, Shinji just froze in place, a meek grin on his face, eyes fixed. His lower body was relishing in the view, but his brain cautioned him, saying "_No Shinji! Avoid looking directly into it!"_ Soon, Shinji's brain and…other brain…were locked in an argument over what to do.

_"What are you talking about, Logic? This is great! We never get to see anything like this!"_

_"It's not worth it, Lust. The longer we stay, the more damage Shinji is likely to incur."_

_"Whoa, hold on, she's standing up! Damn…"_

_"Let's take this chance to retreat."_

_"Not a chance! Look, we can see her front now! Sweet."_

_"She's coming over… Do not engage! I repeat; Do Not Engage!"_ But it was too late. Asuka came in close, and gave Shinji a savage kick to the groin. Shinji fell to his knees, then slumped down onto the floor, head still in the doorway. Asuka took the sliding door in hand, and looked down threateningly.

"You should have left when I told you, Shinji…"

"I'm…sorry, Asuka."

"Not yet, you're not." She cocked back the door, sliding it back a few inches from Shinji's head, and was about to slam it back when Misato walked by. Quite a sight to see, really: Shinji curled up in the fetal position in the doorway, Asuka standing over him in her underwear with her hand on the door. She raised an eyebrow, and Asuka immediately switched modes, false tears welling in her wide eyes.

"Oh Misato, it was horrible! I was picking out something to wear tonight, and I look back to see Shinji watching me in the doorway!"

"Is this true, Shinji?" Shinji looked up, shocked.

"No! You told me to check on her, and I did. I looked in for a second, saw her like that, and…"

"And what?"

"I don't know, I guess I sort of just…stopped." Asuka inserted herself between the two, and resumed her sob story.

"I told him to get out, Misato, but he didn't care! He just stood there, with this dirty look on his face! I felt so…so violated!" Misato thought it over, and took Shinji by the hand, helping him up.

"That's still no reason to smash his head in with my door; I really can't afford another one. Now both of you get ready. You've only got a few minutes before Rei gets here." She started to walk back to her room, then wheeled around, looking to Shinji one more time. "Shinji, don't let Rei see you like that, ok?"

"Uh… Right."

Rei rang the doorbell, and was greeted by Shinji, who, through stammering, invited her in. She sat down at the table with Shinji and Misato, and looked back and forth, as though counting. Misato saw what was probably a puzzled expression, (though Rei Ayanami can only look so puzzled while still keeping within her limits,) and explained.

"Sorry, Rei. Asuka's still getting ready."

"I see." A minute or so passed, and Misato became annoyed.

"Shinji, can you be a dear and check on Asuka for me?"

"Please Misato, not again…"

"Fine, I'll go." She got up and walked down the hall, leaving Shinji and Rei alone. Shinji couldn't help but notice that Rei had changed out of her school uniform, into a heavy coat and scarf that he could only assume covered an equally conservative garment. (This was still a treat for Shinji though; with Rei it was either the mundane school uniform or the awkwardly sexy plugsuit. For once, he could appreciate her beauty without feeling guilty!) As they sat in silence, they heard Misato and Asuka's voices from down the hall.

"Asuka? Where are you? You're not in your room."

"I'm in your room, Misato. I wanted to throw Shinji off my trail."

"Ok… Wait, you're not touching anything in there, are you?"

"Maybe…"

"Asuka, keep your hands off my clothes!"

"Ooh… Misato, you've got some interesting underwear in here…"

"Hands off, Asuka. Those aren't for kids, you know."

"They seem to fit."

"Wh- Asuka, get out here right now!" Misato began pounding on the door, and Shinji excused himself from Rei for a moment.

"I'd better go make sure they don't kill each other. I'll be right back."

"Take your time." Shinji turned into the hall, just in time to see Asuka burst out from within Misato's room. He was shocked to see her in the same outfit as Misato: The same black shoes, the same full-front black dress, everything but the sliver cross-shaped pendant. The two stood facing each other, with Shinji only a few feet away. The two stared each other down, and Asuka smirked.

"It's eerie, isn't it, Misato? Like looking into a mirror…"

"Except for the hair color and height, yes."

"Well, let's go then!" Asuka walked off, brushing past Shinji in doing so. Misato quickly followed, scowling. Shinji began to feel light-headed as the scent of perfume washed over him.

"They even smell the same…"

The four emptied out onto the walkway outside the apartment, but came to a halt as Asuka stopped and executed a dramatic face-palm.

"Scheisse… Misato, I left my purse in the apartment. Would you mind?"

"Here's the key; just hurry up, ok?"

"Kein Problem!"

"And don't touch any of my stuff, either!"

"Hmm… Es ist mir Wurst." She skipped back to the door, opened it, and rushed inside, yelling back to the rest: "Just head for the elevator, and hold the door!"

Misato, Shinji and Rei walked down the semi-outdoor corridor, turned a corner, and called an elevator. Once it arrived, they filed in, and Shinji was tasked with keeping a foot in the door. A minute passed, and the silence grew awkward until Misato finally broke it.

"I swear, that girl… And every time she speaks German, I feel like she's probably swearing! You know what I mean, Shinji?" "I…just kind of tune it out…"

"Typical." After another minute, the light clicking of Asuka's pilfered high-heels was heard, swiftly followed by the rustling of her garments, and finally the appearance of the girl herself, having donned one of Misato's red uniform jackets!

"Asuka, what did I tell you about touching my things?"

"Oh this? I ordered this from NERV's uniform shop. A nice fit, nicht?"

"Oh, it's great…" Misato had every right to be mad, of course: Up until that, no one could wear the uniform as well as she could. But this girl made it look even better! On top of that, Misato was wearing the exact same thing, jacket and all. (Apparently women have this thing where they can't both wear the same thing. I wouldn't know, it's not my place.) Anyway, at this point, the only thing separating the two was that darling little hat that Misato always wore, something that only came into her possession as a privilege of rank.

'At least she can't copy that,' Misato thought to herself as she pushed the button to begin the elevator's descent. As the cab began to drift downwards, Misato heard a rustling from behind her, and spun around, expecting the worst.

Indeed, the worst was now at hand, for Asuka had somehow gotten her hands on the exact same kind of hat! A rather large vein came into existence on Misato's forehead, and her calm façade began to burn off as her visage reddened.

"ASUKA! How do you keep getting your hands on these things!? Only officers are issued those covers!"

"Oh I can be very persuasive with the uniform people when I need to be. They're all big plugsuit fetishists down there… So Misato, who's the big mean Operations Commander now?" She pointed to her own hat, which bore the silver Captain's rank insignia.

"Asuka, in case you forgot, I made rank? I'm Major now, so SUCK IT!" Misato removed her hat, and jabbed an index finger at the golden oak leaf.

"Escuse me, _Shou-san_. But I've got those too." She reached into the jacket, and pulled out a bag of Major's rank insignias.

"You-You…"

"Tell you what Misato, how'd you like to be Colonel for the night? I've got everything you need…" She put away the Oak Leaves, and pulled out a collection of insignias and epaulettes, all bearing the familiar Silver Eagle insignia.

"Asuka, rank isn't a game. Do you know how long I'd been striking for Major?"

"Since you made Captain?"

"Yes, Dammit! So treat the military system with some respect, won't you?"

"How about Brigadier General? I've got some silver stars with your name on them…"

"NO!" The argument abruptly stopped as the elevator gave a happy 'DING,' and arrived at the ground level.


End file.
